Rain Like Diamonds

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Time: May 20th, early morning
Location: Michael's room
Status: Private (Gabriel and Raphael) - COMPLETE
Summary: Raphael writes a letter and wants to give Gabriel a gift, but he stills feels guilty for his behavior


Rain Like Diamonds

Okay, so maybe Raphael had gotten a little carried away addressing the envelope that contained the letter he had so carefully written to his older brother.

It looks like a Valentine's Day card... he thought glumly and he almost dropped it in the trash so he could put the letter in a normal not-overdecorated envelope.

It would have been a lost cause anyway.

Gabriel was the Messenger of God, surely he wouldn't mind. And anyway, it was what was inside that counted. And what was inside, tucked between the folded papers (he had used lined paper from his Journal) was a gift... A long red feather, dusted on the end with gold. He had fastened it to a cord and there were two decorative gold beads on each side.

I wonder if I should have had Gabriel bless the feathers before I started giving them away? Oh well, too late now. And anyway, he only gave them to people he trusted.

Before he sealed the envelope he pulled out the letter, reading it one more time:

Dear Gabriel,

I feel that I owe you an apology for my recent behavior, but simply saying "I'm sorry" doesn't seem to be enough. I am very grateful for everything you have done for me and I apologize for being so flippant, especially in regards to my own self-destruction. I can't seem to pull myself away and no matter what I do I feel trapped in circles going nowhere.

You mean a lot to me, Gabriel. I love you and I wish I could make things better. Please forgive me, and know that I really am trying. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being there and for your patience and kindness and just being the angel you truly are.

Love,
Raphael

He carefully refolded it and tucked the feather between the paper, then slipped it inside the envelope and sealed it. For a moment, he considered sneaking away to give Gabriel the letter, but Michael, even in his sleep, would have sprung to life and caught him and then it would have been handcuffs for eternity. Maybe longer.

What am I doing? A letter and a feather isn't going to fix this... Nothing is ever going to make this right...

He dropped the envelope into the small wastepaper basket, burying his face in his hands. He could hear the rain hitting the window outside.

His gaze slowly shifted back to the letter tucked sadly in the wastepaper basket. It's not going to fix anything... But he plucked it out and turned it over in his hands. Raphael glanced over at Michael.

"I'm still here," Raphael said, tip-toeing to the door. "I'm still here I'm still here I'm still here..." He quickly opened the door, slipped the letter beneath Gabriel's door and quickly shimmied back inside.

Pudge looked at him accusingly.

"Shh!" Raphael hissed. He picked up his journal, but was already starting to fret... What would Gabriel think when he saw it?




((•))

Comments

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel was sound asleep in his nest of pillows. He stirred slightly as he sensed something, before shifting position and going back to sleep.

It didn't last long, however, as he felt a sudden warm weight land heavily on his bare stomach and move up. Paws began to knead his face, and he moved away slightly, blinking. "Alright. I'm awake."

Lifting Earl Grey off his face carefully and sitting up, Gabriel stretched before noticing Ta-Miu sitting by the door, poking something colourful with her paw. There was a look of haughty disdain on her face.* Curious, he went to the door and picked it up, recignising the lingering traces of Raphael's aura.

He stared at the envelope for a moment. Was that supposed to be him? It was rather adorable, though.

The Archangel stared at the feather that fell onto his palm as he unfolded the letter. He read it. He reread it. After a few moments, he put the letter down on his desk so that he could put the cord around his neck and tie a secure knot. Then he spread his own wings, running his fingers through the feathers before plucking one out, wincing slightly.

Gabriel blessed the large blue-white feather lightly before miracling it to appear on Raphael's pillow. His reply would be best given in person, but for now, he didn't think Raphael would misinterpret that message. Please let this be a sign that he's recovering.


* - Well, more haughty than usual, anyway.

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael was lying on the bed on his stomach, writing in his journal while Pudge sat atop his shoulder. He dimly wondered if Gabriel had caused the thunderstorm outside and if he had, was it because he was upset with him?

He turned to a clean sheet in his notebook and was about to continue writing between the light blue lines when he saw the feather resting on his pillow. One of Gabriel's... Raphael sat up and carefully picked it up, lightly running his fingers over the soft white barbs. The edges of his lips curled up and finally he broke into a grin. He read my letter... Something inside of him felt warm, like a gentle hug.

Pudge ruffled his wings, irritated at being disturbed.

Raphael chuckled, still holding the feather as if it were a treasure. He turned to where his brother was asleep. Or seemingly asleep. 

"Michael, I'm going to see Gabriel. Right next door... I'm still here... I'm still here..."

He peered around the doorframe. "I'm still here... I'm still here..."

He knocked on Gabriel's door. "Gabriel? It's Raphael... May I come in?" 

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel changed the contents of the litterbox and washed his hands. As he sensed the presence outside his door, he smiled, pulling a shirt on.

"Of course. The door isn't locked."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael opened the door a few inches and peered inside, blinking his large dull brown eyes. He smiled shyly. "Gabriel...? You... you found my letter?"

He didn't know why he was suddenly acting like a schoolchild on their first day of class, but considering everything that had happened so far, and how Gabriel had had to clean up after him... Stop it, Raphael, if he didn't want to see you, you would have known it. He opened the door a little further, still protectively holding the blue-tipped feather in one hand.

[cattygabriel]

"You and Michael are both the worst liars in Creation," Gabriel informed him coolly, coming closer. "I don't want to use force on you, Raphael, but I will if I have to. Show. Me. Your arms. Now."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael clenched his eyes shut and stiffened like a mouse cornered by a hungry cat. He trembled but kept to facing the carpet, hands still firmly behind his back. Please no... Please please please no...

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel had to remind himself that force would do no good.

He tried his best to clamp down on his anger, knowing it would hurt his brother's weak aura, and reached out to touch Raphael's cheek gently.

"Please."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Something shimmered along the edges of Raphael's eyes, hidden by the red streams of hair that had tumbled in front of his face. He slowly moved a trembling hand around, the angry pink and red marks visible even in the shadow of his shirt sleeve.

[cattygabriel]

"You need help?" Gabriel echoed quietly. Did he mean help walking, or was he finally opening up and accepting help?

"I have time now."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

The words didn't want to exist to be spoken. It was not from pride or self-esteem, it was the fear of burdening his brothers yet again. He briefly considered excusing himself to leave, but Gabriel still had his book and as hard as it had been to release it into the hands of his brother now he almost feared to touch it again.

"I... I need help." He trembled as he spoke, tightening his arms around himself. "I... I want to get better. I'm tired of living every day feeling this way, I'm tired of hurting you... I... I want to get well from this destructive behavior." Each word started out tenative but became spoken with more resolve. He sounded desperate, almost begging, eyes glittering. "Please... please help me? Maybe when you come back from work?"

He was flexible, he'd even wait quietly in Michael's room until Gabriel returned.

[cattygabriel]

Thank you, Father.

Gabriel pulled him into a tight hug again. "I want to help you so badly." He just didn't know how, but hopefully the journal would help. "You're far more important than work, Raphael. Ms Hodges will understand if I take a day off. It's not as though the library is crowded, anyway."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael melted into the embrace, feeling warm and secure in his arms. Normally he would insist that Gabriel go to work and the fact that he didn't was a dead giveaway of how desperate he was. He nodded against his chest, still trembling. "Okay," he whispered hoarsely.

[cattygabriel]

The rain had almost completely stopped by now. Adjusting his hold on Raphael, Gabriel took off.

For a moment, he simply hovered above Tadfield, enjoying the sensation of the cool, damp wind in his face and beneath his wings. He loved being outside after it rained - everything smelt so crisp and fresh - and flying in such weather was even better.

"Alright. I'm going to go quite fast, so hold on." He was the Messenger, after all; few, if any, angels could match his speed, and he was always certain of directions. Beating his large wings, he flew swiftly towards Venice.

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael tightened his arms and closed his eyes, a look of peace in his expression as he just let himself soak in this sensation of flying. The wind through his hair, the wisps of cloud touching his skin.

He'd missed this, could almoat believe that maybe...

He was still an angel...

[cattygabriel]

There was silence as Gabriel flew on, a small part of his mind focusing on ensuring noone saw them and that Raphael wouldn't be cold.

He wasn't quite sure how long it had been before he finally saw the familiar, unique shape below him. He'd always been amused at how it seemed to be shaped like a boot.

The Messenger landed in a church square, Campo Drio il Cimitero. From there, he could make out a marble relief of the Archangel Raphael on the apse of the church.

"We're here," he said. "Welcome to the Church of the Archangel Raphael."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael let himself slide from Gabriel's arms onto his feet, the second he realized where he was he stiffened as if Gabriel had taken a wrong turn somewhere and they were in an execution field. He subconsciously brought his arms over his chest, as he would if he had his notebook to protect himself with. But as he no longer had it he instead curled into Gabriel's side and clenched his eyes shut. "It's beautiful. Really it is. I guess we should head back now since you need to be at work by noon and uhm... you know how bad traffic can be and uhm..."

[cattygabriel]

"You were being an idiot," Gabriel grinned. "You were nearly being a Michael, in fact." He stroked his brother's back, watching the glow flicker and waiting for it to get stronger.

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

"Do we really have to leave so soon?" he asked softly. His shoulders itched and he pressed against the fingers on his back.

[cattygabriel]

"I told Michael and Ms Hodges I'd be back by noon. I don't go back on my word either, you know. I'm sorry." Gabriel continued to rub soothingly.

He was overjoyed and thankful that Raphael was recovering, but he was also a little wary; the last time he'd though his brother was recovering, Raphael had cut his wings off. The Messenger was still going to keep a close eye on him. "I think we have a little time, though. Do you want to stay here or get a drink?"

sorry for the edits! D:

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel laughed. "We have time to have a drink and look at the church from outside one last time, don't worry."

He pulled his cup towards him and grinned at his brother. "That reminds me of one of my favourite snatches of poetry. Time To see a world in a grain of sand, And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour. William Blake."

He loved that particular quotation; it summed up how he himself felt about the wonders of Creation.

No problem <3

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

Raphael sipped the delicious chocolate, licking the cream from his lips as he looked around. "I don't know why I've not spent much time here," he said quietly. "It's so beautiful and so many couples in love..." He smiled at that, the lingering Love and Faith within him allowed him to feel the happiness that seemed to radiate from the various couples he could see. Most were newlyweds, he could tell, others on a pilgrimage while others native to Venice welcomed their family after a hard day of work.

He swallowed some more chocolate. "You should bring Michael here," he told him.

Re: No problem <3

[cattygabriel]

It took supreme effort to not choke on his hot chocolate. Gabriel dearly hoped that it was a non sequitur, not an implication that he and Michael were anything more than friends.

"Why?" he asked. "He doesn't need reassurance that he's an angel, and anyway all the churches to him that I can think of are..." he frowned. "Coptic, Greek or Russian. Hmm. I'm not sure there's one in Venice."

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel spread his wings, miracling it so noone would notice either angel. "You're not answering my question. I want to help you, Raphael."

[halosphere.livejournal.com]

"You have," he said honestly. "You really have. Come on, we should hurry."

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel picked his brother up almost effortlessly and took off. "Not enough, clearly."