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[stillnotfallen.livejournal.com]

Date: May 18th, very late night/May 19th, very early morning
Location: Out of the Manor - the Ritz
Status: Private - complete
Summary: The angel and the demon have been waltzing around this conversation for six thousand years.  Continued from here.

One thing they had both agreed on was that they needed to talk.  In a way Aziraphale found this comforting, as it implied there was something to talk about, which, to be honest, was better than he had been expecting.*  The second thing they had both agreed upon was that the Manor had far too many authority figures lurking about that could overhear, and such a conversation would be far easier to have some place they were more familiar with.

So the Ritz it was.

It was incredibly comforting to be back here, Aziraphale mused, even if it was at an ungod - an unreasonable hour of the morning when realistically speaking the Ritz shouldn't have even been open.  But not only was it open now, they had reservations, and that was reassuring.

"So.  In response to the 'oh fuck,' I do want to be clear," Aziraphale began, because now that he was here he had no intention of letting them leave this restaurant without reaching an Understanding, "that while such things tend to occur in some human relationships, don't assume that I will be allowing you into my trousers right off the bat."

He hoped he wasn't blushing too horribly.


*  Crowley was a secret optimist; Aziraphale was a secret pessimist.

Comments

[pointisdolphins.livejournal.com]

Crowley blinked. It was lucky that he had already swallowed his wine or else he might have choked. There was a long pause, during which Crowley opened his mouth, closed it, and then blinked again.

Don't assume that I will be allowing you into my trousers right off the bat. Had the angel really uttered those words? Aziraphale believed that at some point Crowley would have an opportunity to get into his trousers?*

When the demon worked up the nerve to speak, it came out in a hissy sort of whisper. "You want me to court you first?"

*It wasn't that the Serpent hadn't thought about the concept--he was a demon, after all. He'd even made a few attempts at seduction in the early days of their knowing each other, just as Aziraphale had at first attempted to reform him. The occasional flirt/tease, that was expected. Wile and thwart. Wile and thwart. Only this time, Aziraphale was wiling.

[stillnotfallen.livejournal.com]

The signals were so mixed that it was driving him mad. Crowley risked his life in both reality and in the dream scenario to keep Aziraphale safe. He had gone above and beyond the call of the Arrangement and even friendship by this point, which implied that he had feelings for him. Raphael had even said that they were connected, albeit tenuously.

And yet...

Did he really not and Aziraphale was being too forward? Or did he, and he was just shy? It was frustrating, because he thought he understood him.

Maybe he needed to be more blunt?

"If it pleases you, then yes," Aziraphale replied evenly.

[pointisdolphins.livejournal.com]

"You want to have sex with me," Crowley said in an even voice, staring at Aziraphale. Despite the shades, it was easy to tell his gaze was piercing. He stood there without moving, his entire essence fittingly that of a Serpent.

[stillnotfallen.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale took a deep breath in and let it out. "Eventually," he said. "I... care for you, more than anything else, and isn't it natural for one to desire a more physical relationship, or even more of a relationship, with someone that they care for?" He looked at Crowley and put on his best reassuring smile. "But I was thinking that we ought to go slow, get to know each other as... as paramours as well. After all, we aren't rushed for time. Again, though, that's if the idea pleases you. If you don't wish to be with me at all, I'll understand and shan't judge you for it. I wouldn't court me either."

[pointisdolphins.livejournal.com]

Crowley gaped at him. For a long moment he just looked at his counterpart. He no doubt had the same expression he’d had in the Great War when he’d fallen asleep long enough to let a bomb sneak by his defenses and explode a bit too close to the trench he was in.

“You- you can’t.” Crowley blinked, trying to get himself out of the daze he was in. “You don’t mean— You can’t love me.”

It was not the most intelligent nor coherent thing he’d ever said but that was to be expected considering he felt like he was having an out of body experience. As though he really were back in the trenches except this time the bomb had killed his man-shaped body and he’d been exposed, shellshocked, in his true form. Crowley had no idea what he should do. He had no idea period. The dream he’d had of betraying Aziraphale sprang to his mind. What if that had been a warning? What if he’d already betrayed the angel without even realizing it? He HAD to have, since the angel couldn’t really love a demon. Crowley had tempted him without meaning to! Well, all right, he had occasionally meant to tempt him, but not into something like THIS. Not into something Aziraphale would be Felled for.

A cynical voice in his head pointed out that it would be ironic if he got out of Hell’s bad books for making the angel Fall since technically that ought to have been high on the Serpent’s ‘To Do’ list in the first place, even though it had never been. It would be ridiculous if he’d gone and ruined the one being that hadn’t been out to hurt him* and was also the one being Crowley wanted to- to- Protect? Huh. That’s odd, but it felt right. They had an Arrangement, they’d been on Earth forever, and like it or not, the angel was the closest thing he’d ever have to a true ally. Crowley did want to protect Aziraphale—even from himself.

*not since the First Days, anyway, and even then they’d not been enthusiastic combatants. Hence the chatting after Adam and Eve’s expulsion. They had been…something like friends, even then.

[stillnotfallen.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale blushed horribly, looking away. "You must understand of course that as an angel I'm practically compulsed into loving All Things," of course Crowley knew that, he mocked him for it enough times, "but what I feel for you is... different. Despite our differences, I find we have more similarities, and..." He was having such a bloody hard time trying to come up with something, anything, to say that sounded coherent. "Bloody hell, I'm bad at this. Well. Perhaps I've loved you for awhile and only recently came to understand it."

[pointisdolphins.livejournal.com]

"Different how? Are you really trying to tell me you're in love with me?" Crowley scoffed.

[stillnotfallen.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale merely nodded, unable to make eye contact, especially because of Crowley's tone. He was used to it, he should have expected it, but he was too vulnerable right now, and the tone was just too much.

He stood up. "Never mind. I'll just let myself out then. Cheerio and all that."

[pointisdolphins.livejournal.com]

Crowley waited. He was good at waiting. Snakes are known to lie still for hours and hours and Serpents aren't much different. It was thus his inclination to stay still and let this awkward situation blow over. Maybe sleep for a week or two and THEN try to reason with the angel. Having made that decision it came as a surprise to even himself when he moved forward and took hold of Aziraphale's arm.

"Angel, don't. Er." It was then that the Serpent did something so rare to demonkind that no doubt he was the only one who had done so in millenia. He blushed.

[stillnotfallen.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale realized with whatever mental capacity he had left that Crowley was blushing. He never blushed. Even when Aziraphale had caught him in some rather embarrassing situations* Crowley would merely shrug as if no, he hadn't been caught doing something rather "uncool"**.

Which meant... he had been right. Crowley did reciprocate, or at least almost reciprocated. Close enough.

Aziraphale smiled at him. "You daft bugger," he said fondly as he stepped forward and placed his lips against Crowley's.


* Most involving that vehicle of his.
** Like giving said vehicle a hug after a two-day separation.)

[pointisdolphins.livejournal.com]

"Ngk," he said through the kiss, unable to articulate anything else. But he didn't pull away and in fact returned the liplock.