Lower Tadfield Safehouse

Michael grinned. "Geez, I feel so unworldly. I've never been a woman before. Maybe I should try it sometime. Although Gabriel might smite me out of jealousy if I ever turn up prettier than him."

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"Try it where he won't see," Loki suggested with a grin. "And really - have you told me what you are yet - apart from feather-bed material, I mean?"

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Michael blinked. Oh, right. This guy might not know who he is. "Oh yeah. I'm Saint Michael the Archangel, General of the Heavenly Host, Viceroy of Heaven-"

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Aziraphale cleared his throat loudly. "Essentially, Michael is in charge, only after the Lord Our Father," he translated, ignoring Michael's put-out expression at not being allowed to list his long string of titles.

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Loki thoughtfully scratched his chin. "I thought 'saint' was attached to the names of people who died a particularly painful death," he mused.

That was, at least, what he had gathered from the tales he had heard when he had sat in on a church service or two, curious about this new faith that had apparently all but replaced the one he was a part of.

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"Well typically, yes, but the Catholics have tacked on Saint to a few angels as well. It might even be all of them; I'm not entirely certain." Aziraphale had, after all, taken steps to avoid such things in the past.

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Michael frowned a little. "I guess it sounds cool," he said. "And I have died painful deaths a couple of times, but you know, I can't really die-die unless things go really, really wrong... But hey, 'saint,' isn't one of my better titles anyway."

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"How wrong?" Loki asked Michael. "And do people actually go around calling you that?"

He considered for a moment.

"You know, it might work with Michael or A-zi-ra-pha-le, but imagine someone tacked that title to my name! The title would be longer than my actual name, and how would that sound?"

He still wanted to know about the ordeals the two had mentioned before, but he had the impression he was unlikely get information on that if he asked yet again. Better to bide his time.

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Aziraphale thought about it. "You don't have titles, do you..." he murmured, trying to think. "Beyond your occupations, I mean. Or am I incorrect?"

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"My occupation?" Loki said. "Not sure what you mean, my dear. Some people would title me troublemaker - though I object to that particular 'title'."

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"Occupations, as in, for some reason I recall you being the god of chaos. Is that incorrect?" Aziraphale made a displeased face. "I apologise. It's been awhile since I've indulged in Norse literature and my memory is a bit rusty on the subject."

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"Some call me troublemaker," Loki admitted. "I'm not sure how well that would do for a title, though."

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"Actually it's a pretty cool title, if it's capitalized," Michael replied, thoughtfully rubbing his chin. "You know, the Trickster, the Troublemaker. I like Trickster more. It's not my thing, but I kinda like the sound of it."

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"Trickster," Loki repeated. "That sounds like "Nah, no need to take him serious, he's just playing pranks."

He considered for a moment. "So what are you actually doing here when you're not hanging around moping?"

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"Not if you put 'the' in front of it," Michael pointed out. "'Trickster' sounds lame, but if you're 'the Trickster,' then you sound kind of awesome."

"And I don't hang around and mope," he protested lamely. "I do lots of stuff. Well, I will do lots of stuff, like end the world. That's why I'm here. Just have to talk to Adam first. He's avoiding me, though."

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Aziraphale's jaw dropped.

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"Now look," Loki said, grinning in a way that could be taken by the angel any way he wanted to take it. "Ending the world, I must sadly say, is my job, not yours. But, you know, we can always talk about it. Why don't you tell me which parts, specifically, you would like to end, and we'll talk about it and make a deal?"

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Michael raised an eyebrow at him. "The whole thing," he replied. "That's sort of the point of the Apocalypse. Lakes of fire, Horsepersons, humans die, the world ends, the devil goes FWOOSH. Why, were you only thinking of destroying part of it?"

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Aziraphale felt nauseated as he stood up. "Excuse me, gentlemen," he said, hoping he looked better than he felt. "I ought to be... back at the Manor."

Before waiting for a response, he quickly fled from them.

He loved this world! Why did... why did everyone else want it gone?

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"I think we scared him," Loki said as he looked after the other man. He climbed over the backrest of the bench and slid in the place Aziraphale had vacated.

To Michael, he added: "We can't both destroy it all. That's why I suggested splitting things up. See, I don't have the devil on my list, so you can have that, for example."

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"He's gone native," Michael said, dismissing Aziraphale with a shrug. "As for the world, maybe we can... well I don't see how to destroy just half of it. But maybe if our plans go off at the same time, the world will just be really really dead? That way we don't know who got what." He paused. "Our Plan is called Armageddon or the Apocalypse. What's yours?"

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"Mine's called Ragnarök," Loki explained. "It's more about getting rid of those so-called gods. The rest of the world is more like collateral damage, you know? So if you led me a few troops for my bit, I'll help out with yours afterwards."

He winked at him, letting him take it as seriously or jokingly as he wished.

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"Ohhhh," said Michael. "Well, ours is more focused towards wiping out the Sins of Humanity, and the devil. The devil's all mine, but we also focus on taking out the humans too, or at least the evil ones. It's kind of complicated and the plan keeps changing, but if to you the humans are just collateral damage, then the plans shouldn't interfere with each other too much."

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"I don't much care about sins or evil people or anything," Loki said, wondering if they were actually joking or talking in earnest. This was going so much better than he had expected!

"I have a couple of fire spirits though who desperately want to put some parts of Midgard - you call that Earth, I think - on fire. I think they would be very put off if they couldn't."

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