Gabriel and Michael share a nightmare

[cattygabriel]

Time: Late at night on April 21st
Place: Gabriel's room/Michael's room/the Dreaming
Status: Private (Gabriel, Michael) - Complete
Summary: Gabriel and Michael share a nightmare and some revelations.

It is a familiar scene, one that has haunted Gabriel’s dreams for millennia.

 A chilly wind is blowing, and Lucifer Morningstar, first of all the angels, is standing before him, half-turned towards the swirling darkness of the Void at his back. His hand is held out, eyes holding Gabriel’s.

“Walk with me, Gabriel.”

 And seemingly against his will, he is moving forward, hand reaching out. He pauses suddenly, frozen, as before his eyes, Lucifer changes. Golden eyes darken, turning dark blue. Long, fair, wavy hair turns into shorter golden curls, and the small amused smile is now a boyish grin. Gabriel stares. Michael.

 Michael grins at Gabriel, enveloping the Messenger’s hand in his larger one, and Gabriel finds himself moving forward. He can hear soft, sibilant whispers coming from the darkness of the Void behind Michael, a susurrus of doubt and temptation that spells his own doom.

 He stares at Michael in mute horror as the Warrior smiles at him, and whispers, “You’re so pretty…”

 

Comments

[angelofawesome.livejournal.com]

It would be so easy.

A quick act of defiance. Descent into Hell. A battle, yes, but who would side with Satan? Michael could destroy him, defeat him again, and suddenly the realm is his. Complete domination, an empire with a new Emperor. And he would be better at it, just as he is a better Second than Lucifer ever was. Hell would see new heights of glory and power with him at the helm.

He could finally have everything he ever wanted.

Michael runs a finger over Gabriel's cheek. "This is what you've wanted, isn't it?" he asks softly, covetously, "The Second of Heaven, First among the Angels, was never enough for you, but the Emperor of Hell... that's what you've wanted all along; selfish of you, but understandable. Are you happy now? Can you be happy, finally? I'd give you anything."

He feels sick to his stomach as he gently places a kiss on Gabriel's nose. Something about this is tainted, twisted, and so very wrong. He feels like he's on the verge of collapsing, like his sanity is held by a frayed string.

*WIBBLE*

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel can do nothing but stare at the being before him, the being that looks like Michael but can't be him, because Michael would never talk like this, never stand so near the Void, never touch him like this...

A shudder runs through him at the kiss, and he flinches away, unable to face this strange new Michael who is not his Michael, and yet unable to move away.

"I thought of you as one of those furthest from temptation," he whispers. "Michael, I don't - I don't understand what you mean. How could I want anything that would lead me or you or anyone else to sin?"

It is so hard to think properly; he feels strangely giddy, as though his brain isn't receiving enough oxygen, which is silly because for all his human weaknesses he is an angel, and shouldn't be this weak.

[angelofawesome.livejournal.com]

Michael flinches. That's what's wrong with this scenario, isn't it - he never has succumbed to temptation, he's loved Gabriel for millennia and hasn't ever done anything about it; the idea of ruling Hell has been fleeting and egotistical...

What is he doing?

Those thoughts are gone, and left in their place are his darkest emotions, coiled beneath the surface of his light. Words slip from his lips like poison he can't contain.

"You're just so painfully selfish. You wanted Lucifer, the greatest among us, and anything less wasn't good enough. Heaven isn't enough for you. You're barely able to be called an angel. What was it you said... 'we don't eat chocolate for breakfast'. We? Why don't you just leave Heaven forever and get it over with? You're halfway gone already."

What was he talking about? He tried to tell Gabriel he didn't mean any of this, it was just coming out, but he couldn't. A glance to his wings revealed they weren't gold anymore; they were black, the colour of garnets at night.

[cattygabriel]

Each word is like a dagger, well-aimed and sharp, the onslaught of pain almost physical. And Gabriel realises that more than half of what Michael says is true; what sort of angel is he? Steeped in humanity and tainted with their sins, he has no right to call Heaven his home any longer, or to stand before the Lord as His servant.

He has never wanted Lucifer that way. But if he has already succumbed to Gluttony and Sloth, how long can he stay away from Lust?

"Lucifer once told me that his door would always be open. I prayed that I would never approach its threshold, that I would be strong enough to keep myself in Heaven's light." But if he didn't belong in Heaven, where else could he go? Earth? He couldn't stay there forever.

"Are you casting me out, Michael?" It takes all his strength to maintain a semblance of a calm facade, and he doesn't think he is succeeding. "How long have you thought all this and kept it to yourself? I thank you for your honesty, however."

He makes to pull away from the Warrior, but pauses at the sight of those wings, so different from the light he is accustomed to. A glance at his own wings reveals that he, too, is no better, the former blue-white now the rich shades of black and dark, dark blue that paint the sky at midnight. He turns back to Michael wonderingly.

"But you have done nothing, you are not tainted. Why, then?" he gestures to the wings. "Or have I lost the right to ask that?"

[angelofawesome.livejournal.com]

Michael can't summon the strength to remove his gaze from his wings. So like his. "Twins," Michael whispers, reaching up to touch one of those oppressive black feathers. "We were two halves of a whole, you know, although he was always the greater one. I suppose it was only a matter of time before I followed in his footsteps."

He sighs and looks at Gabriel again, staring at those wings that now match Michael's eyes. "I could never cast you out. I've loved you since the moment I saw you. You've cast yourself out. How ironic you're following me when you didn't follow him."

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel is speechless. He's misheard, surely, or Michael is... is...

"No," he shakes his head slowly, staring at Michael. "You can't. Not me. I'm tainted, I would lead you into sin, and you yourself said I didn't belong in Heaven!"

[angelofawesome.livejournal.com]

"I always have, and I always will," Michael repeats firmly, "And maybe... Maybe you're Falling, but you're not following me; I'm following you." He reaches up and touches Gabriel's cheek. "I know you don't care about me," it hurts his soul to finally admit these things aloud but again he can't stop himself, "and I know it means nothing to you, but I'd follow you anywhere. I could never cast you out, because it would be casting out my very Being."

[cattygabriel]

Gabriel swallows, moistening dry lips, eyes on Michael's dark wings. Whatever last shreds of calmness he might have had are gone, and the giddiness is only worse. There is simply no way that he can be hearing what he thinks he is hearing.

"Michael, I - " but he does not know what to say. What can he say, after such emotional turmoil? "I will not be the one to cause you to Fall. I don't know what's wrong with you, why you're saying all this or why your wings are dark, but you were right earlier. I'm not the angel I should be. Don't follow me. Please."

[angelofawesome.livejournal.com]

Michael is an impulsive creature. The only time he is capable of thinking about actions and consequences is before a battle, and now he's in the midst of one; it's too late for plans.

He takes that one step forward, battle-callused fingers gently wrapping around Gabriel's forearms, and the Warrior pulls the Messenger close and kisses him on those protesting lips. There is silence. Michael can't deny his thrill at finally kissing Gabriel...

--

... and that made the shock of waking up that much more prominent.

Michael woke up tangled in sheets and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. "I am never sleeping again," he vowed in a little growl, a blush spreading to his cheeks.

[cattygabriel]

There is shock and fear and confusion, and then Michael kisses him, and Gabriel gasps; suddenly it's all he is aware of, the pressure of warm lips against his own, the soft but strong grip on his arms, the sudden warmth pooling in his abdomen -

Gabriel sat bolt upright in bed, shivering and panting as though he had just run a marathon. He barely noted that he was covered in sweat, running trembling fingers through his hair and twisting to check that his wings were still unstained.

He had had disturbing dreams since arriving here, but this...

How am I to face Michael after this?

Gabriel inhaled shakily.

You're barely able to be called an angel. What was it you said... 'we don't eat chocolate for breakfast'. We? Why don't you just leave Heaven forever and get it over with? You're halfway gone already.

And that kiss... Gabriel shuddered, revolted at himself. Perhaps it was best if he didn't face Michael. The Lord's Second did not deserve this. He would have even left the Manor if not for the Lord's apparent wish that he remain there. But I do not even deserve to serve Him.

He went to the bathroom, wishing his little clothing away and standing under a stream of icy water. O Fortitudo Dei, sancte Gabriel... People prayed to him for the strength to stay away from temptation. And yet here he was, treading a fine line.

Help me, Father.